Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Realizations ...10% goal

I have been having a really tough time getting to my 10% goal.  Last week I came to the realization that I am self sabotaging myself.  That I am causing my own pain.  For some reason deep down inside, I am scared to loose the weight.When i was in high school I dated a few different guys, then in university I just was not interested. Now for some reason at 35 I have it in my head that it will never happen.  This previous August, I got out of a really bad relationship that lasted one year.  I want better. And I want to be with somebody, but I am embarrassed by my body.  Down to the honest truth, I do not think that I am pretty, and I am not very good at taking compliments.  I think actually I know that the reason why i am sabotaging myself, is how hurt will I be if I get to my goal weight, and still end up alone.  Well I am never truly alone, my best friends are ALWAYS around, and so is my HUGE family. 

My goal was to reach my 10% goal by April.  But as you can see I see sawed in April April 03 212.2
April 12 211.2
April 17 212.6
April 23 211.4  I am only .2lbs away!

Well Today is the first weigh in in May and the first week in May. So I hope that I cross over the threshold, and loose this week to get my 10% goal.  I promise to myself that I will not get upset if I don't and that next week I WILL be over that hump in the road.

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