Friday, March 19, 2010

confession friday

Welcome to Friday!

Happy happy joy joy... It IS FRIDAY! Which means 13 days until my Vacation and 16 days until my cruise!

I have had a wonderful week so far! Thank you for the comments. Mimi my life is about sucking it up and moving on! *at least that is what i try to do!

I have done well on the food and the exercise side. On Monday i went for for the 10k walk, Tuesday i didn't exercise :( i was sore from the day before, Wednesday was a bear mtn walk, Thursday was a bear mtn walk, and tonight i am going to the gym!
Now a story...(lol)

So here it is the confession about my life, that only a few people know.... well i am sure people can guess it when they are around me enough!

I want to date, and I just don't know how. I have always looked at myself as ugly, fat, always negative with myself, asking myself why would a guy want to date me!
I know I know... everybody is saying... you lack self confidence! I know I do! And I am sure most of us out there are, in some way or another! When I started this journey of self discovery, and finding the healthy me, i didn't think I would actually change as a person.

Well guess what, I am changing! I am really aware of what I am eating at all times, and if it is healthy or not. I am aware when others around me are eating unhealthy, and want me to share, 99.9% of the time i say no thanks. I am enjoying my hikes and walks, I actually look forward to them! I really care about my appearance. AND here is the kicker, I like how i look, I know that i am pretty, I know that i am an amazing person. I am even letting people take and post pictures of me that are not just head shots!

Here is the sad part... I do not know how to meet guys, where to meet them, or even how to start dating... I know your thinking WTF!?!?! at 33 you don't know how to do this... well I have always distanced myself from anything that had to do with dating, sex, or boyfriends! If I had a boyfriend, i always seemed to push them away, with my negative thinking or I just ignored them until they went away!

I want to try again! I think, actually I know i am ready! Bring it on... but sigh i dont know where, or how. When I guy talks to me im all shy, like a 13 year old girl! It is so frustrating!

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